THE FEAR OF LOSING CONTROL

3 Dec, 2018

LittleBirthCo

So many of the awesome women we get to support in The LBC share this same concern, this same fear. LOSING CONTROL.

I think as a generation of women who in general have so much more control over their lives, over relationships, work, a career, finances …. what we do and when we do it … you name it. This independence has given so many of us control over our own lives which is truly wonderful and should be celebrated.

But we can really struggle when it then comes to pregnancy and birth when it feels like we must hand over that control, that we are somehow not capable of making sensible informed decisions for ourselves and our baby. Pregnancy feels like renders us incapable of keeping the control.

This, of course, is NOT true.

But when you are pregnant and surrounded by well-meaning birth services with their endless policies and procedures, friends and family with their own experiences, sometimes it can feel like those decisions and choices will be made for us.

I think that sometimes this can undermine a woman who is still more than capable of being in control. Being informed and educated about your choices is a must.

What I want to talk about is how we need to flip these feelings of …..

“I’m afraid of LOSING control”,

“I’m afraid of BEING out of control”,

“I’m afraid of FEELING out of control”,

“I’m afraid of HANDING OVER control”

….. on their head.

Its a balance, on one hand, I could say to you, you have absolutely no control over your birth, birth can be unpredictable.

But as much as birth can be unpredictable it would be wrong to assume you have no control.

No-one like’s losing control. It doesn’t feel good. Panic and fear set in and the feelings of ‘out of control’ escalate.

So here at The Little Birth Company, we like to focus on what you do have control of.

Being prepared has got to be our Number 1 … physically, emotionally and mentally but also with some knowledge.

There is so much you can do to prepare yourself for birth and that in itself gives a wonderful feeling of ‘being in control’. So that whatever turn your birth takes you can make informed decisions that will lead you to a positive experience.

This for us is what birth preparation is about. Stacking the odds in your favour of a positive birth experience.

Taking control and preparing yourself physically and mentally for any challenges that may arise, so that you can make the best decisions for you and your baby. In doing this you do increase the chances of a calm and comfortable birth.

So, I totally get that you are scared of losing control during labour & birth. Scared of what could go wrong, scared of how it will feel. I totally get it. But once you focus on the control that you do have in preparing you to put yourself back in control and the fear reduces.

Some women understandably struggle with the idea of the medical professionals being ‘in control’. This should never be the case. You and your birthing partner(s) should always be central to any decisions that impact on your birth.

The Little Birth Company prepares you to communicate in a positive and beneficial way with your care provider’s ensuring that you are always the decision maker and are fully supported in those decisions.

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